so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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