The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
