there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Randomize
