Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
