I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Randomize
