shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
