Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
