well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize