i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Never joke about your clitoris.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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