I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
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