Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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