If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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