I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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