Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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