This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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