I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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