this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
