then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
