Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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