i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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