I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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