Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
