i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Randomize
