I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
