tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
