you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
