So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
