Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
