Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
