I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
