The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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