just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
