oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
