reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
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