I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize