Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Randomize
