dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Are my feet made of real feet?
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Randomize
