i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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