my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
God gave him joint rollers for hands
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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