Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
