I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
