if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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