My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
