Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I'm sobbing to NWA
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
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