i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
She bit a glass in half.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
