You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize