I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize