Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
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