Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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