is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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