But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
