the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
