I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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