I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
