apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
