After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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