Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
