So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
