Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
