going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize